Be a Man | The Quiet War

I hate the phrase “be a man.”

Not because I think there is anything wrong with being one. Not because masculinity is something we should apologize for. I hate it because most of the people who throw those words around have no fucking idea what they mean.

Usually, “be a man” means shut up.

Stop complaining. Stop hurting. Stop being scared. Stop admitting that you don't know what to do. Get back to work. Take care of everyone else. Handle your shit quietly so nobody around you has to be uncomfortable knowing that you are struggling.

That's not being a man.

That's being a pack mule with a mortgage.

Being a man isn't pretending nothing hurts. It's knowing something hurts and still being responsible for what you do with that pain.

It's taking care of your family without convincing yourself that your only value is what you provide for them.

It's protecting the people you love without believing you have to protect them from knowing you are human.

It's keeping your word. Owning your mistakes. Apologizing when you're wrong. Standing your ground when you're right. Knowing the difference between the two.

It's being scared and doing what needs to be done anyway.

And sometimes, being a man means looking at your wife and saying, “I'm not doing very well.”

Sometimes it means calling your friend instead of sitting alone with something that's eating you alive.

Sometimes it means asking for help before the weight you've been carrying finally puts you on the floor.

There is strength in endurance. Men should be strong. I believe that.

But strength isn't measured by how much pain you can hide.

A strong man knows when to carry the load.

A wise man knows when it's too heavy to carry alone.

So yeah.

Be a man.

Just make damn sure you know what that actually means.